im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
