"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
