Who did Billy Mays play for?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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