I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
