I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm really into asian looking animals
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
