Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
