hotel room ftw
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
