I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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