She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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