Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
