with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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