I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
