Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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