just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
