when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
