Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
