Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
