shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
