i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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