On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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