Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
