I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
