I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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