if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
