you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
