evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
