Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
