I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
