Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
