my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
