There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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