I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
