I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
