My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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