So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
