so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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