So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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