she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
