Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
