We're facebook friends in real life
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
