I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
