We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
