remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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