i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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