Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
