Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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