She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
