There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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