do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
