You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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