Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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